You may already know by now that between the age of 29 an 39, I had a major fitness transformation, I left my 9-5 job to start a business, and moved from the US to Europe.
That’s definitely not the typical path that most people take.
Honestly I don’t think most people would even want this life, but based on conversations with clients, with peers, with friends, I do think that there are elements of my journey that people can relate to, or would like to explore for themselves.
I feel like I’ve never really explained the philosophy that’s guided me through this path so today I’m going to take the liberty to do so.
Life is full of distractions. I say this all the time.
But when I use the word “distraction” people assume I’m talking about distractions in the normal sense of the word.
Notifications. Loud noises. Interruptions. Etc.
But for me, “distractions” entail something much broader and more significant.
Distractions are any and everything that cause you to deviate from your path towards an optimal life.
The wrong job, the wrong social environment, the wrong diet, and the wrong value system can all be distractions if they put you on a trajectory you were never meant to be on.
I’ve thought about this a lot and through much trial and error, through experimentation, I’ve concluded that life comes down to prioritizing four key areas over all else.
And if you do this, you will be far better off in life physically, emotionally, socially, etc.
Most importantly, you’ll be able to navigate yourself out of the success trap that so many people fall into, leading to deeply unsatisfying lives, despite being conventionally successful.
Optimize your life across these four domains for deep and lasting fulfillment.
Domain 1: Health and Fitness
This is a big one, because when you lose your health you lose literally everything else.
Health complications make life infinitely more challenging with increased medical bills, reliance on lifelong medications, and time spent navigating the medical and insurance system.
In my opinion, avoiding or delaying poor health is a non-negotiable requirement for optimizing your life.
Being able to travel freely, to enjoy life without burdening your loved ones, and having the confidence of being strong an capable is unmatched.
I probably don’t need to harp on this one too much because I think it’s super relatable, but I will encourage you to think about whether your health is a priority in your life.
Then think about whether your daily actions are congruent with where you place your health in terms of life priorities.
Domain 2: Human Connection
We are social creatures.
There’s a reason why solitary confinement is considered cruel and unusual punishment — so much so that it drives people insane.
When you lack deep and meaningful human connection, you literally lose your mind through cognitive decline (increased rates of dementia).
Human connection drives hormonal processes in the body which are important for keeping people emotionally balanced, healthy, an contributing members of society.
Beyond the biological implications, I would argue that having no one to turn to when things get difficult, or having no one to share the good things in life with are both very suboptimal experiences.
Domain 3: Fulfilling Work
There is this belief that work is a necessary evil. It’s something we must do to pay the bills.
This is only a partial truth.
There’s working for survival, which entails working to pay the bills and cover financial obligations.
But beyond this, once a person stabilizes and begins advancing up the corporate or business ladder, options open up. For most, work becomes less about survival, and more about salary, status, opportunity.
Unfortunately this leads many into the career trap of unnecessarily working a demoralizing job when they don’t have to.
There comes a point where, with the right level of intentionality, one can pivot into career paths that are deeply aligned with their innate curiosities.
Once one finds fulfillment in their work, work transitions into “flow” which is the state of existence experienced when work, purpose, and the appropriate level of challenge come together.
“Flow is what people feel when they enjoy what they are doing.”
“The flow experience is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.”
Domain 4: Greater Sense of Purpose
Knowing your role in society is extraordinarily important.
This can be manifested in many different ways.
For some it’s religious conviction. For others it’s through some other form of spirituality. For others it’s through service.
It could be as simple as being the best spouse, parent, friend.
Whatever it is, the point is that there must be an internal motivator that drives a person to take the difficult path. Having a reason, a why, a purpose, is fundamental for staying grounded and not being pulled into whatever direction other people want you to go.
Having a very clear sense of purpose acts as a compass that makes it easier to make difficult decisions, and to navigate through life confidently, especially when things don’t go as planned.
Most People Are Living Sub-optimally Across All 4 Domains
In my experience working with clients, almost everyone is severely underperforming in at least one or more of these domains.
88% of the adult US population is metabolically unhealthy, meaning they either have, or are on track for early onset of preventable chronic disease (diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, etc.).
In 2003 the US surgeon general issued a formal advisory on a growing loneliness and social isolation epidemic that has become a major public health crisis. Lack of deep human connection increases risks across the board (physical, mental, and cognitive health).
About half of people in the workforce stay in job roles that make them unfulfilled because they cannot escape the comfort of a steady paycheck (golden handcuffs). Thus they miss out on opportunities to pivot into more rewarding, flow-inducing, work that is aligned with their calling.
The majority of American adults believe their lives have a greater meaning or purpose, but don’t know what it is. Having no clarity of purpose leads many down “successful” paths that are misaligned with their higher calling.
Most high-achieving business professionals I work with have followed the rules and have done everything right.
Yet, they’re not nearly as healthy as they should be. They’re not as close to their spouse or children as they wish to be. They feel like they’re trapped in the corporate rat race with no opportunity to catch a break. They can’t identify what they actually want in life.
Most people have not properly designed their lifestyles.
What Is Lifestyle Design?
Imagine when you go to buy a new suit.
You can do as most people do, and buy a pre-made suit directly off the shelf. It fits well enough, so you leave it at that. Maybe it costs you a few hundred dollars.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this. It’ll get the job done.
But it’s rather unremarkable. You’ll look like everyone else. Bad fit, weird angles, bunching, too tight, too loose.
Now imagine you take things a step further and go to the best tailor in town. The tailor modifies your suit to match your specific proportions.
The added effort, craftmanship, and attention to detail makes that suit fit you perfectly. And now you look remarkable. People compliment you. You’re confidence is higher. You have an overall better experience.
This analogy applies to your lifestyle as well.
Most people accept the status quo. Most people accept the generic lifestyle that was given to them.
School —> Work —> Retire —> Die.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this approach. You’ll get by, but many elements of this approach will be a bad fit.
If any part of the standard narrative impedes your ability to live optimally across the four domains, then you have a strong case for “re-designing your lifestyle.“
Lifestyle design is tailoring your life to meet your specific needs, values, and goals. This means taking the generic American lifestyle and making alterations that may not be suitable for others, but align perfectly with what you want in life.
This means choosing entrepreneurship or employment gaps for exploration and personal development over the status quo of continuous 9-5 employment for 40 years.
This means being that weird person who makes doing 15 mins of exercise every day in the office a non-negotiable rather than blaming “being too busy with work” for having a sedentary lifestyle.
This means getting rid of almost everything you own (like I did) to support a geographically autonomous lifestyle, if that is a priority for you.
You only have one life, and it’s yours to design.
Less Is More. The Power Of ONE.
Life is complicated. I get that.
I fundamentally believe that trying to fix everything at once is the quickest path to mediocrity across the board.
“What’s the ONE Thing you can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”
Thus, while you may have many different areas of your life that you believe need some attention, I strongly recommend focusing on one thing at a time.
Start with the highest-leverage fix. The one that is going to alleviate the biggest problem that you currently have. Direct all of your available energy. Go all-in on correcting that part of your life.
Once you’re done, take some downtime to rest and recover, then move onto the next highest-leverage fix.
There’s a bit more to it, because you’ll also need to implement a system, which is where my lifestyle design concierge service comes into play.
But this is the general framework:
One core problem
One primary action
One system for follow-through
If you need help figuring out which problem to work on first in your lifestyle design journey, then I have a solution for you.
I’ve just created a totally free AI-powered “lifestyle design” diagnostic tool which analyzes your life across the four dimensions I’ve mentioned above, an recommends the single area of your life where you should focus your energy on for now.
Just enter your email, run the diagnostic, and answer a few questions. Then it’ll give you a recommendation which you can begin implementing immediately.